July 31, 2014

That sinking feeling when you know you are in over your head

You know that sinking feeling you get when you know you are in over your head? It reminds me of the disciple Peter in Matthew 14 when he was walking on water but saw the strength of the wind against him, so he became afraid and began to sink. Peter's reaction always seemed strange to me: if he had enough faith to walk on the water to begin with, then why would some little wind and wave make him afraid?
But Peter's reaction isn't strange; it's exactly human. Time and again I've had faith in God to provide and then I've seen Him provide much more than I asked for. However, when I feel the strength of the wind against me and see the height of the wave coming at me I respond just like Peter did. And every time Jesus pulls me up and not so subtlety says, "You of little faith, why did you doubt?"

So recently I deeply contemplated the magnitude of the Christian school ministry here in Togo as well as our future goals and needs - that's when I felt that sinking feeling you get when you know you are in over your head. But that's okay, I getting quite used to that feeling and am learning how to deal with it: lay it at the feet of Jesus.

It all started when our colleague Roger mentioned that several parents of Jr. High students in Adeta want us to start a Christian high school (for which we don't have a building, curriculum, or teachers). And other parents want a Jr. High in Kpalime, a new school in Mango, and multiple Jr. High schools in Lome. Meanwhile, we don't have enough books, classrooms, or teachers for the schools we already have.

That's when I have to take a step back and remind myself what we are doing here: we are spreading the gospel and making disciples of Jesus, one student at a time, one teacher at a time. My idea is to train a generation of Togolese to serve God in a way that will impact a whole nation, maybe even several nations in West Africa. And it a great comfort to know that no matter how good I think my plan is, God's plan is always better.

If you are looking for ways to join in or help out click the "Special Projects" tab above or just email us at andrewandmary@abwe.cc